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Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.

Where has this pen been all my life???
This hat its the best snorting hat
of all harry potter snoting hat take
good care of this snorting hat this
it is the best I recommend this to
you if you dont know whats a
pupuet it is agag made of

cloge you move your hand inside
the cloge bag if you dont know
whats a baby montior it is a

thing that if a baby cry you
hear from the baby montion
so some one says grifindor
slithern herpoof or rifinckle
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore

As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,’ I muttered, ‘vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.’

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,

I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,

So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter—patter tapping at the icebox door -

I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

‘This,’ said I, ‘requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.’

To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire

How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.

Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
I tried the banana slicer and found It unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices Is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.